The Reluctant Father by Phil Toledano

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The Reluctant Father by Phil Toledano.

Well, obviously, it’s not exactly

how it started (that would be a

slightly different kind of book).

I was never particularly interested

in having kids. I liked them in an

abstract sense, in the same way

that exercise seems appealing,

but in practice, utterly tedious.

When friends came over with

their kids, I treated them like

radioactive material. Tolerable

for short periods of time.

Prolonged exposure would have

unpleasant effects, like hair loss,

or inexplicable stains on the sofa.

The problem is, I never took

into account the relentless

pull of gravity.

You have a girlfriend, and

everyone asks “So when are

you two getting married?’

You get married.

You’re married, and everyone

asks ‘So when are you two

going to have children?’

You have a child.

You have a child, and

everyone asks, ‘So

when are you having

the next one?’